I hate things,I hate myself!I feel so bad right now somethings really heavy on my mind and I don’t know what it is.I just got teased by myself if something that probably won’t happen.I prayed this morning,for positivity,but idk I guess its not here.
It’s already been two days and I already miss him! He treated me so wrong but I really miss him.He kept me up.He kept me happy. He was mines, I was his.Now it’s no more.
I feeled myself with the thought that I could never be hurt by him again since I got him. I was wrong. To tell me that everything that was said and done is over, I don’t believe it.There’s hope in us all and I still believe in him. Now it’s officially over…I couldn’t go back to him if I tried. Or even if he tried.I know my self worth, so for you to say those ddisrespectful things to me I’m forced to be done. Even when I’m not ready to give it up. I’m not crying cause I have no tears to shed.
4.05.13
Wellllllll, I’m good.I’ve been debating for WEEKS if he cared about me or not, And he finally told me he does.*Sigh*been waiting for that lol.Then he told me to be aggressive with him.While I’m like trying to avoid him, he thought I was scared to takj to him.lol.And whenever I thought I was Aggravating him, I wasn’t.He wants me to get at him more.I will.It ain’t nothing but a thanggg.lol.Love Me Some Him!!!!♡♡♡♡
Everythings Been ok I guess….My crush got my letter.No reply.Then we was like ignoring each other.Then Wednesday I said Hi.And he like put out his hand to I grabbed it Next day was VDay and I got a balloon.Yes I was flexxinn but I was glad.Especially because of the fact that he gave it to me after the letter.And Kayla told me that she cares about us both and wants us to be happy and she thinks we could do that for each other.that was so sweet! But then he likes this other girl I guess.idk.It’s just the fact that I feel like I’ve been led on once again…
I just need to live in the moment,and focus on me.Do me.Im living in the present time where I’m getting dolled up and pampered for this pageant.So I need to hold off on guys.And I like breaking dudes hearts,finally karma has come to break mines.And it’s kind of ironic how I wouldn’t date him,now he wouldn’t date me.But yea Pageants coming up and I should be worried about that but I’m not.Imma Wing it,just like I do everything else.But if I really really really really wanted him then I’d do something to get him,despite my shyness.And me realizing this,just kinda got me otl low low.So forget it.I can’t tell myself not to like him,just don’t go as hard.As usual.And I got this plan,not really a plan,but a thought that I can become close with him over the summer,which I can.If I try,and this is so realistic.I can accomplish this,especially if they stay in the same house.We may build the best friendship,I may get over him,or I may gain something else or lose something else.
“Aaliyah” Illustration by Mikhail Dingle”If you jump, then you will fly. Because you are as light as a feather” This piece is dedicated to my strong beautiful and talented sister Mikhala Dingle May the purity that is you heal this wretched world. Like the angels before you.
Wow. This is gorgeous.
I just wanna cry!I feel so emotional and so depressed.The fear of infatuation gets everyday,same time.It makes me mute for the rest of the day.Im sad and I don’t know why.I want to scream,I want people to see the real me,and not this act.I just want to be loved by someone I wanna love back.Im too young for love I never even wanna fall in love.Im like Romeo & Juliet.Im in love w/someone who might not love me back but I hope I never fall in love.And now I’m sprung.I am Sprung.On someone who’s not clear to me.No goals.No ambitions.Just a nice face,and curly hair.He’s always on my mind.I wish he’d come around.I hope he’s not the reason why I’m feeling like this.Depressed.I can cry anyone a river,but I wouldn’t know what I’d be crying for.Im open about everything,but not this.Take my everything as long as you don’t take me.All my songs are about him.About love.I’ve always told myself go after someone with a dream.Not a thought.And what he does is not good.I tried to look after him but that made me seem like I’m too nice.Too nice?Maybe you’re too mean.Do you not see?And Dreams don’t mean nothing!They’ll never come true!!And that’s because they’re your subliminal thoughts.Things you want to happen that plays in the back of your mind.Queen Mab has nothing to do with this.And I wish I didn’t either.I only want you up like me as much I like you.Im not as you see me.But we don’t talk so you wouldn’t know.I’d tell you everything.Do you not detect the salt I give to everyone?Did you not see me not in the mood when I entered the room.I guess not.Im going to be so sad if he doesn’t like me back.Especially since what we could’ve had last year.You just didn’t do those things for no reason.Do you really think I ignore you?Everyone knows I’m pressed over you,and you ain’t nothing.Even your little sisters know I like you,but whatever.Whatever.You don’t care.Cause you don’t show it.So I guess I shouldn’t either.
